Fearing vulnerabilities is one of the most prevalent emotions we experience. Therefore, whenever it is portrayed well in media, it strikes a chord with me.

The purpose of labels is to help. To help us categorize our experiences and find common ground and exchange with others we can identify with. If labels feel restricting or if our specific experiences do not fit them, we should discard them. Find other labels or use other language to describe your experiences. Your language.

I have to lose weight. I‘m ugly. I’m fat. No one loves me. No one would ever love me looking like that. Why does It have to be me? Is it punishment? I need to change it. I need to lose weight. I need to look good. I need to be happy. I need to be worthy. I need to be loved.

Mushishi presents a sequence of different stories covering themes like existentialism, loss, freedom, identity, peace, speciesism and finding one’s place in a world that is simultaneously different and very similar from ours.

I guess I have been addicted to Twitter. Sounds quite dramatic, right? I think most people who use social media are partially dependent on it, especially when most of your interactions take place on platforms like Twitter...

"Poetry trembles alone, only picked up to be taken apart." I picked up ‘Hold Your Own’ at my local book store and skimmed through their works until I couldn’t stop rereading a short great piece...

‘ME!ME!ME!’ depicts the dark sides of media consumption and does an amazing job in emphasizing the feeling of being lost in idealized versions of reality and the struggle of fighting to free yourself from this artificial cage to create actual human relationships. It focusses on pornography as a lot of people are easily drawn to it but I think this is only one of many possible aspects that can and do create a disconnect between someone and their environment while diving into possibly toxic fantasy worlds. I think art is not only a great way to express these feelings but to learn how to deal with them. Getting out of such a seemingly infinite loop of insanity is everything but easy but it is possible.

Apparently, I have a weakness for intelligent characters who write and drink and go down the path of realizing a literary revolution by tearing down conventions and every single value traditional institutions sanctify. I love to see them creating something new, joyful, authentic. I want to see them set the world on fire. I want to see them shock and appall people who have long forgotten what life is all about.

I have always struggled with anxiety, fear of failure and fear of commitment. I could discuss how these damaging mechanisms have a negative impact on almost every aspect of my life for hours but that's something I have done countless amounts of times without being able to solve anything. That's the reason why I've decided to seek professional help and I'll hopefully start therapy in a few months. I'm happy that I was able to get to know people I can talk to about these issues, especially because I used to isolate myself whenever I was in a bad emotional state and that lead me into a spiral of self-doubts and rejection.

Living through depressive episodes is exhausting. No, it’s worse. For a certain amount of time, it is like hell – but not the endless being burned and tortured kind of hell – the kind of hell that is too plain and ordinary to be bearable, just like the one in ‚Huis Clos‘. It’s waking up and not wanting to start the day because you know there is nothing new, nothing to offer. I have a poster of Camus at the wall opposite my bed and sometimes it makes me laugh..as if I’d need a poster to remind me of my existential crisis. I know what helps me. Theoretically. The usual. Eating healthy, exercising, social activities, trying to establish a routine. Often, I manage to stick with a lot of those but sometimes I fall and get caught in passivity, doubts, anxiety and escapism as a way to deal with everything…or rather as a way to avoid everything.